I have a lot of children
This is a thought that hits me about once a day. Oh boy. We are really parents now. I can wipe a bottom, talk to an insurance agent and burp a baby all at the same moment (I know this because I did it yesterday) Before Hadley I was used to two bodies going in different directions, at different speeds, and with different objectives. But it was always linear in a sense. You could draw a straight line between them (I am speaking a little metaphorically… hmmm… seems the lack of sleep has me in a bit of deep thought) But now we need to triangulate. And while Drew and Phoebe seem to be polar opposites at times– I dont know how I will get to know Hadley if she falls somewhere in the middle– or heaven forbid if she falls outside of the realm I know.
Andy and I have decided she is our last baby. And as much as Andy may not want this disclosed on my little blog… we have the surgery scheduled in two weeks. He is nervous, and rightly so I guess, although it is a really common procedure. But a small part of me wonders, just wonders are we really done with babies? Mayyyyyybbeee…. we should just hold out…. Maaaayyybbbee… there is room for one more somewhere down the line. But of course I have not bridged the topic because I can imagine it would not fly. A friend of mine said (after having their third baby) that her husband proclaimed that if they had another baby, it would not be his. And I bet I would get a similar response from Andy. Hmmm.
Part of me thinks I could do it all over again — mostly because I was able to have her naturally. I am so grateful for the way she came into this world. (I am working on her birth story, but it is proving to be much harder to write than I expected– so many deep emotions to work through) But a good part of me knows we should be so thankful for three healthy babies considering the condition I get in pregnancy… and considering our luck so far. I also know that having a baby does disrupt the family unit… shakes us up a bit… takes attention from the big kids and that is hard for everyone. It has been joyful to bring Hadley into our family, but also everyone has had to compromise at times. And I don't know that I want that to happen again in our family.
So I think I have talked myself through it a bit. And I know we are done, a complete family of five. So in about three years when I get all sad that I will not have any more babies– please remind me of this post and of how I really do have a lot of children.
I wanted to post a cute picture of all three kids– but everyone is hungry– and tired of waiting for dinner as I write and revise this post– maybe after baths I can get them all to smile and sit still
And here are a few cute pictures of Haddie on her belly (and by the way — she is soooo close to rolling over!)
1 comment
Yes! You have a lot of children! And one more than I had
I remember when I was about 40 and my cousin (same age as me) had her 1st child, I realized I could still have children! And I must confess I was slightly tempted. But I too, felt grateful that I had two wonderful sons. Sometimes it is good to leave well enough alone, or whatever that expression is. Anyway, I have also heard of men having that operation reversed so that could be an option too, down the road, if you really get desperate for another. It is so great, and amazing really, that you were able to have Hadley naturally. I am so glad that doctor knew how to induce you without taking those drugs. You have a very special family! you are blessed, and so are we!